I have always assumed that you should figure out who you are, and your path in life will magically fall into place. The concept of figuring one’s self out has always terrified me because I have always struggled to grasp just who or what I am. It’s like being stuck in a line that you can’t see the end of and thinking that once you get to the end, your life can begin. When you graduate high school or university, you might believe your life can finally start. When you’re at a job, you look for that next promotion or career opportunity to come your way so that you can get on with your life. But the truth is quite humbling.

You are what you do, and your life has already begun. 

You are the amalgamation of all that you do, and you happen to be more of that which you spend the most time doing. Now, I know some of you are grinding your teeth reading this, but it’s true. If you want to be a writer and create a novel, but you spend most of your time outside of work playing video games and writing a page or two a month, then you’re not a novelist and probably never will be. 

But there is hope.

You Are a Whole Pie!

As I just said, you are an amalgamation, not one thing. Divide yourself into a 24hr pie graph and put all your hobby/vices/work stuff on that chart and the time you spend doing those things. Color in the pie pieces, and you can see just who/what you are. 

Seriously, do this if you want to gain some base perspective if you’re struggling with where you’re at right now. 

However, don’t be too hard on yourself with the things you absolutely can’t immediately change on the graph, like the work you do to pay the bills. We all have bills to pay, and we have to do what we do to get by—this exercise should focus on your time spent outside of work and demanding responsibilities. But if you’re truly unhappy with your work, then I suggest planning a capital “S” Shift to get out of that situation (I’ll talk about this concept in a later post when I can share some concrete examples with you!).

OK, you’ve made the pie graph? Good. Now you have a better grasp of how you’re spending your life. Let’s move onto the next important step.

Read Some Obituaries

Reading the obituaries might seem a bit morbid, but trust me when I say that doing this puts life (and death) in a new light. Every morning I read through around 5 to 10 obituaries with a cup of coffee and see how people left their mark here. When the coffee is gone, I stop reading the obituaries and start my day.

Sometimes, what I read is depressing. Some person aged 40 has died, and all that’s left is a single generic paragraph stating that they will be missed. While another person aged 40 might have an entire novel written for them. Now, we don’t know each individual (I should hope not), and just because their obituary isn’t extensive doesn’t mean they weren’t an exquisite person; that’s not the point. 

The point is that the obituary has the power to summarize an entire life in a few paragraphs and forces you to imagine how your own might look. 

If you died tomorrow, how would your obituary read (honestly, read a few obituaries before you contemplate this question)? How will you be remembered? What did you do while you were here? Ask yourself these questions, and then take a look back at your pie graph.

You should have a better idea of the things that need to change in your life. The following exercise is to take the time to change the size of your pie slices! 

You are what you do. The more you do THAT thing, the more you become THAT thing, so be mindful of where your time is going.

Whether you like it or not, you are writing your obituary right now. Make sure it’s a good read.

-Joski

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